Sunday, September 16, 2007

There are worse things than death, unless you can't find a save point

Why does MSNBC have a top five list of the worst ways to die in a video game? Seems like soft news to me. Not that it matters . . . they have it all wrong.

5. Death by camera. Whether it's an accidental step off of a cliff you were trying to sidle up to or being shot in the head by an enemy just off screen, there's no more frustrating or rage-inducing way to die than to be killed by something the "real" character would never have to worry about.

4. Death by blue screen. Well, this isn't really a "death," per se, but losing your progress because the game crashes is maddening. Power outages count on this one, too.

3. Death by zombie. Seriously, who wants to be eaten by, and subsequently drafted into, an army of the rotting undead?

2. Death by blue shell. If you play Mario Kart, then you know. Even worse than the lightning bolt, nothing strikes dread into the heart like the tell-tale buzz of impending doom and last place.

1. Death by stupidity. Oh, if I had a dime for everytime I planted a motion-sensing bomb, only to walk past it later because I forgot that I placed it. Or fired a grenade off and watched it bounce back at my face. Let's face it, nothing is more embarrassing than inadvertently causing your own demise while trying to hasten someone else's.


Anonymous said...

How about death by being entrapped in a Yoshi egg while simultaneously being pooped off a cliff.


Hal said...

Bwa ha ha ha ha! Oh man, I forgot about that.

Speaking of which, I'm hearing that it's confirmed that Smash Bros. Brawl will have 4 player, online multiplay. Are you prepared for me to poop you off a cliff from 300 miles away?

-Murphy said...

In an attempt combine MSNBC's #4 with your #3, I'm going to have to refer you to Dr. Salvador, the potato-sack wearing zombie in Resident Evil 4 who lumbers towards you with a chainsaw. Granted, he doesn't draft you into the ranks of Los Ganados, nor is he technically a zombie, but he's frustrating enough that I feel the need to mention him. The experience of seeing him for the first time, about five minutes into the game, chuckling, then realizing your pathetic weapons aren't doing much and that you're about to be minus a few bits is kind of stunning.

Also, I'd like to note that this:

Are you prepared for me to poop you off a cliff from 300 miles away?

is kind of creepy out of context.

Hal said...

Ah, I do remember that guy. Thankfully, Ian was guiding me through it my first time, so he managed to get me in touch with a shotgun and I killed him. Well, I killed him the second time. The first time I panicked and lost my head.

Anonymous said...

Are you prepared for me to poop you off a cliff from 300 miles away?

That's totally going to become my new forum signature.