Million Dollar (Cry)Baby

If you hadn't already heard, the NBA has instituted a dress code which demands that players involved in league business (such as press conferences) should be attired in business casual. Some of the players are crying racism.

Go figure.

These guys are payed millions of dollars to play a game. God forbid they should adhere to something that every other working person in America understands, and that is that when you're on the job, you're probably going to have to wear a freaking uniform of some kind. Whether it's a polo shirt at the office or a funny hat at McDonald's, your employer is going to tell you that they control what you are to wear. It's not about denigrating your taste, culture, or ethnicity; it's about presenting a favorable image to the public. That's why a lot of employers refuse to hire people with visible tattoos.

But hey, why quibble over philosophy when I can share the really amazing quotes with you?

"When I saw the part about chains, hip hop and throwback jerseys, I think that's part of our culture," Pierce said. "The NBA is young black males." (Emphasis added)

What a sad statement on two parts. First, that such utterly ridiculous attire is actually considered a "young black male" cultural aspect. Isn't it a sad state that racial affairs have made "black males" such a monolithic culture? There is no "white male culture." It's just too diverse. So why are black males supposed to have this one culture? Makes no sense to me.

But the other is the part about the NBA "is" young black males. Yes, I think we can all see that the NBA seems to have a disproportionate racial employment (boy, if there was ever an example for Affirmative Action to work on, this would be it). But to completely identify the NBA with that one demographic? I think everyone should find that insulting.

"I feel like if they want us to dress a certain way, they should pay for our clothes," he said. "It's just tough, man, knowing that all of a sudden you have to have a dress code out of nowhere. I don't think that's still going to help the image of the league at all."

Oh, you poor things . . . you really do have it rough, don't you? I mean, the puny pittance of millions of dollars each year we pay you professional athletes just doen't cover expenses anymore, does it? And even the tiny bit of extra income you get from plugging sports drinks, attire, and food doesn't help at all. I feel for you. Even after some of your own were busted for living a "debauched" lifestyle, you know that you're the real victims in all of this. Now you have to purchase your own clothing? Those racist monsters! They should know that you can't afford a new suit because of all the horrid expenses you have to keep up with, including your "jewelery." I mean, you could always spent $100 on a suit at JC Penny's, but that would be an even bigger blow to your pride. How can those monsters take away your pride? Have they no shame?

So, NBA whiners stars, I feel for you. You should know you have the full weight of my scorn and ridicule support behind you.